The Silent Version.

A pale-skinned alien, who’s been spending too much time at the gym, drinks some potion which causes him to disintegrate. In 2089, Sigourney Weaver, after much plastic surgery, has turned into Noomi Rapace, and is poking around on the Isle of Skye where she finds a cave painting, which is so accurate that she immediately knows that she should go to one of the moons orbiting Saturn.

When the expedition gets to the moon, the audience guesses exactly what’s probably going to happen, and it does – all the iconic bits of all the other Alien movies.

The End.

I just don’t see the point of this. As far as I can tell, there’s no explanation for the gay, gym-boy aliens or their violent behaviour (advanced but psychopathic), and there’s little or nothing here which isn’t familiar from other instalments of the franchise.

My copy will live as a drinks coaster.


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