From silly to sinister

3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy.

I heard about this film a few months ago because it’d been getting imperial citizens overexcited. It starts as a silly Hong Kong sex romp about a man who is under-endowed in the trouser snake department going to see the sybaritic Prince Ning as a consequence of his little problem.

But eventually the film turns violent, unpleasant, and tasteless, and what­ever little sympathy I had for it evaporated. The whole thing ends up being tacky and vulgar.

I don’t know what the film’s message is meant to be, but it appears to be that there can be enduring love without sex. It ends many years later with our hero, who lost his donkey-sized transplant during the final con­front­ation with the Prince of Ning, and his wife, still in the unremovable chast­ity belt (though that’s ridiculous because they would’ve been able to recover the key easily enough), still together and no less fond of each other, much to the surprise of the newly married couple seeking their blessings.

Lost Girl.

I wasn’t certain what I was getting with this, but it turned out to be one of those Showtime TV series. Bo has been drifting from one place to another because every time she gets hot for someone, she sucks the life out of them. She rescues a chancer called Kenzi from a date-rapist, but is then caught by the police who, as it turns out, are not your ordinary boys in blue.

Bo is informed that she’s a fey called a succubus, and is forced to undergo a test before choosing whether to join the light fey or dark fey. In the end, she chooses neither, and ends up living with Kenzi in a dilapidated old house from where they run a P.I. business. Cue adventures.

Dyson, one of the two policemen who caught her, is a werewolf and her kiss-fight-kiss-fight boyfriend. Seriously, one moment they’re together and the next moment they’re not, and it even becomes the subject of a bet by Dyson’s partner, Hale, and Kenzi. There’s also Lauren, the human doctor who works for the light fey leader called the Ash, and would like to be Bo’s girlfriend, but that also goes pear-shaped.

Meanwhile, there are lots of hints (Trick, the barman, and Dyson both know, and then predictably start arguing about whether to tell Bo) that some of the fey at least know exactly who Bo and her parents are.

Bo still wants to find out who her parents were and eventually meets another succubus who calls herself Saskia, but is, in fact, Eva (Efa? The medial consonant was definitely voiceless), her mother, who was handed over to the dark side to bring a war to an end, but subsequently tormented, which has driven her stark, raving mad.

The series ended with mummy maddest trying to start a war between the light and the dark fey while Bo seemed to throw her brain out of the window by gushing about how she wanted to get to know her mother even although she knew the woman was a couple of thongs short of a knicker drawer.

This felt like some cheap, fantasy fun that didn’t try to take itself too seriously, but overall felt too much like it’d been phoned in.


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