The Hessen Affair.
It’s the end of World War II and some enterprising Americans come across a hidden room in a castle in which the crown jewels of Germany have been stashed. The whole shady deal eventually goes pear-shaped, but Billy Zane gets the girl and they all lived happily ever after. Probably.
All right, but TVM or straight-to-DVD fare.
My Zinc Bed.
Even fast-forwarding didn’t improve this film.
Don Cheadle is a deep-cover agent inside a Muslim terrorist group. The FBI are in hot pursuit, but work out that he’s one of the good guys.
In the silly ending, all the terrorists get booked onto the same bus and blow themselves up.
There’s John Simm. There’s Philip Glenister. It could be an episode of Life on Mars. But no. It’s a bank-heist film in which the boys are villains. Holy schizophrenia, Batman! Vaguely entertaining, but in a low-key way. Sort of ends up being a shaggy dog story because the policeman who’s been hunting our heroes was at the bank when they tried to rob it and thus knows perfectly well who they are.
The title on the disc is Thick as Thieves. Bloody regionalisation. Morgan Freeman is a thief. Antonio Banderas is also a thief. But he isn’t. He’s a policeman. They rob some high-security Russian bank in New York to steal a couple of cheap Faberge eggs. There’s a girl as well.
You don’t care; I don’t care.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
I’m still not caring. Or even curious.
The film of Davis Frost’s quest to interview Richard Nixon. I feared that this might be long and dull, but it managed to maintain my interest. Frost managed to interview Nixon, but was basically outgunned by the unrepentant former president until the very end when he managed to get the admission that everyone was craving.
I thought Frank Langella, although he didn’t bear much of a resemblance to Nixon, outshone Michael Sheen who played the part of the shallow, smarmy talk-show host. But that may have been how it really was, with Frost being well out of his depth.
Flash of Genius.
Greg Kinnear is the man who invented the intermittent windscreen wiper and then has to battle the Ford Motor Corporation for stealing his idea. It’s one of those David vs. Goliath films in which the utterly OCD David wins.
We all wave our flags and cheer dutifully.
It’s all right, but nothing to rave about.