The event was so traumatic that it aged him 25 years.
I’ve noted elsewhere the trend in the media to age people. Someone who’s 28 on R4 one day has become 29 the next day. The phenomenon is common enough for this to be one occasion when I’m not exaggerating for effect. But today, The Guardian wins the prize.
Asbo given to 24-year-old who wrote abusive comments about women in public lavatories and buses
Note the man’s age. Now let’s turn to the article:
David Jell, 49, is also prohibited from carrying spray paint and displaying rude comments or nicknames in a public place under the terms of the three-year order.
I can confirm from a quick search that the man is actually 49, so where The Graun got 24 from, I don’t know. I see that kentnews.co.uk even has a picture of marker pens in its story (Graffiti man banned from owning felt tip pens), which will, no doubt, prevent conversations like this arising:
Kentish Yokel#1: Isn’t that David Jell? He looks a bit aged for someone who’s 24.
Kentish Yokel#2: He’s not 24. He’s actually 49.
Kentish Yokel#1: Seems that you really can’t trust the media. [Slight pause] Hold on a mo’. Isn’t that a marker pen in his hand?
Kentish Yokel#2: No it’s not. There were pictures of them on the kentnews website. No, I’d say that’s a serrated-edged dagger which he’s brandishing in a menacing fashion. Lucky for him his Asbo didn’t cover them.