The older boys made me watch them

Zach and Miri make a Porno.

Another Kevin Smith rom-com. Zach and Miri, who have been friends since they were at school, share a house. When the money starts to run out, they decide to make a porn flick to make some money; but pre­dict­ably, the film clearly reveals they rather like each other instead.

The film has its moments, but there’s nothing here to raise it above the herd. Seth Rogen is obviously playing the part Kevin Smith would’ve played, although the film would have to have been called Jay and Silent Bob make a Porno. Actually, you don’t need to imagine too hard to have a con­ception of that because Jason Mewes is in this.

Fire and Ice. The Dragon Chronicles.

An offering from the SciFi Channel. The horror! The horror!

Budget: £2.37 (including wages; excluding SFX).
SFX budget: £4 million.
Script quality: poor.
Inspirational quality of script: worse than poor.
Acting (stars): flatter than an ironing board.
Acting (extras): zombie-like.
Worst use of extras: their complete absence as the usual complement of courtiers and servants found at any self-respecting royal court.
Camera work: same sweeping semi-circular shot over and over again which makes you wonder if this was meant to be 3D.


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