A torch of multifarious usage

An ironic purchase.

Because of the problems with the lifts, I thought I might start using the stairs, but if I do that, I really need a torch. I know that the shops which sell police kit have torches so I went to one just near the intersection and pointed to one which looked like just the thing I wanted until the proprietor demonstrated that it had a taser function (or it might’ve doubled as a lighter for a gas cooker). He offered me another torch which suited my purposes better. When I got it home, I found it was rechargeable and came from Hong Kong (offices on Wing Kut Street in Central). It also came with instructions of which I reproduce some below.

Pioneer using introduction

It owns the novel and artistic appearance… slippery-proof. Moreover, it is a sturdy and durable product and performs satisfactorily.

Features:

a) adopt the high capacity of 1100mAHs to do not need to support the sour storage battery of lead.

b) establish the intelligence to flow to refresh and steady press, consume to give or get an electric shock the quantity small, can circulate to refresh to be up to 500 times above, save the money for you.

Lighting:

a) use only the beard will illuminate the switch to make an effort a little bit to push forward.

b) through multifarious usage, a darker hour of flashlight, (do not chase all exhaustions of the battery amount of electricity), please refresh in time.

c) …accepting to put the machine to turn on electricity more than 10 hourses continuously.

I love how the torch “performs satisfactorily”. It reminds me of the machine in the bank in Fuzhou which you use to rate the bank clerk’s service. In English, I think the best they got was an unenthusiastic satisfactory.

There’s one instruction at the end about keeping combustible materials away from the torch while it’s charging. That inspires confidence in me, although I don’t own anything combustible to the best of my knowledge. Actually, it seems that the torch should be kept away from just about everything. Perhaps I should buy a torch from a shop where such things don’t also come with an offensive function beside a practical one.

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