The Vanilla Coke of books

I should’ve bought it when I saw it.

I’ve continued searching for the last of the art books that I saw in Zhuhai here in the Tianfu Bookshop, but still can’t find a copy even although they have quite a selection of books by the same publisher. I’m going to try and find the 西南书城, which is on 上东大街 (allegedly). At least I have an address, although I have no idea where 上东大街 is. Also, is the bookshop actually in the south west?

This particular book is like Vanilla Coke. You can find it in Zhuhai; you can’t find it in Chengdu.

When I was in Shanghai for the conference, I went up the road to the shops a couple of times. There were hordes of underemployed youths handing out a magazine called Love and Angel, which seems to be unsubtle advertising for 天狮门诊, a hospital near the hotel we were in. The distributors were handing the magazine to all and sundry, including me in spite of the near total absence of English in this publication.

I find my inability to read Chinese fluently is frustrating because I’d like to know what 女人不过一支烟 (19.08.14. Youdao translates this as “A woman but a cigarette”. “But for”? Nice girls don’t smoke?) is about. Since this is China and I’m a cynical old bastard, I suspect that it’s promoting the health benefits of smoking for women. And just what is 色狼, 我就是sexual想和你上床 all about? The English translation of the title is “The sexual harasser I am want to go to bed”. The illustration with this article is a cute girl in very short shorts. Not inappropriate at all, given the predicted tenor of the article.

There’s also 不爱就别把我拉上你的床, which lacks an English translation, but seems to mean something like “If you don’t love me, don’t drag me into your bed”. (I can’t guarantee the accuracy of my translation.)

On the back inside cover of the magazine is a set of pictures of pieces of equipment which you can find in the hospital. Very reassuring.


2 thoughts on “The Vanilla Coke of books”

  1. Wow, so Zhuhai also has free porn. And somehow I don’t believe you don’t understand that. The only problem I see with your translation is perhaps your lack of familiarity with Chinese slang. A 色狼 is not necessarily a sexual harraser, just somebody who has an unhealthy obssession with the activities your magazine describes. The 色狼 quite likely indulges his obssession through perfectly lawful, if not strictly moral, means, although this being China, there’s also a good chance he spends his disposable income on not strictly legal, but usually tolerated services of a nature he’d be interested in.

  2. Actually, the translation of the title isn’t mine. That’s the one in the magazine. My dictionary translates 色狼 as "lecher, wolf, sex maniac".

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