Oh that this too too overrated, antiquated Midlander…
Shakespeare in peril as Oxford rethinks English syllabus. In peril? Shakespeare’s plays may no longer be compulsory at Oxford in the future. Yeah, that sounds like peril to me.
“Well, Marlowe,” said Sir Francis, “I suppose you’re wondering why I’ve summoned you.”
“A nice chat over tea and biscuits?” said Marlowe hopefully.
“Not exactly. We’ve heard that the English Department at Oxford is going to offer nothing but the study of Shakespeare to students.”
“Shakespeare? Who’s he when he’s at home?”
“Playwright of some sort. I’ve been asking around, but no one’s heard of him apart from the canteen staff. Apparently, he writes some fairly low-brow drivel that goes down a treat with the unibrow brigade.”
“What’s the job?”
“We want you to kill him, and we have an especially big gun for you to use on this occasion.”
Next week: Shakespeare in peril!
What’s Oxford going to do to Will the Quill? Put him in context. I know. Academia is a vicious world. Those bastards will stop at nothing. I’m surprised Inspector Morse hasn’t been wheeled out to investigate the case.
Meanwhile, all the luvvies are up in poiniards and down in doublets about the announcement. Poor things. It’ll be darkened rooms and smelling salts for the next couple of weeks.