So Father Christmas isn’t real.

But the Tooth Fairy is, isn’t she?

There’s a story in today’s Guardian about a junior school being forced to apologise after one of its teachers revealed the awful truth – Father Christmas is mythological and letters to him are dealt with by the Royal Mail.

Dear Father Christmas,
I’d like a Playstation 3 for Christmas.
Thank you.
Dear Revolting Child,
Playstation 3 is currently out of stock. Please accept this Hello Kitty pencil case with a broken zip with our insincere apologies.
Yours &c.
Father Christmas (Ms.)

Are children these days so feeble-minded that when they finally find out that the man in the red suit doesn’t actually exist they’re traumatised by the discovery? I think Father Christmas added to the magic, but I can’t recall any time when I was not aware of his non-existence. However, Sally Jones, 32, said that she “[didn’t] think any harm had been done.” In fact, her view seems to be that Father Christmas is a convenient scapegoat for the non-delivery of certain items.

“I wanted a Playstation 3!”
“Well, dear, Father Christmas was convicted of petty larceny that time.”

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