Never mind the little people

I have a car!

I was woken at about 8am by His Majesty of the 4WD departing. As you can see from the picture below, there are some tight corners to negotiate if you want to get out of Green Bamboo Mansions. Instead of being bloody, bold, and resolute, our man wimpers out at the corner. Either his 4WD is underpowered, or he drives it like a pregnant, anaemic school girl with weak wrists. I rather think the latter. I watched him a few days ago and wondered whether his right-hand rear wheel was going to slip into the Slough of Despair. It was the screeching of his wheels at that point which roused me this morning.

Then he sounded his horn so that Gate Woman would know that his Imperious Majesty wanted her to open the gates. The response was in­suf­ficiently swift so he sounded he horn again and again and again. By this time I’m muttering, “Why don’t you open the gates yourself?”, when I hear Row yell out the window, “Shut up!” ^_^

He could’ve opened the gates himself. As you can see from the picture, if you can open a door, these should be easy enough. But that would’ve meant taking the initiative. Damn’d counter-revolutionary practice! Worse still, it would’ve been a gross social faux pas. His Majesty of the 4WD does not stoop to opening gates. That’s why God invented Gate Woman.

Mr Bamboo is sorely tempted to write 注意文明 (zhùyì wénmíng) “Be civil” in large characters on the wall next to the door to his balcony if only because he doesn’t know the grammatical Chinese for “Open the gate yourself, you lazy bastard!”


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