Testing… testing…

Could we be more important?

It’s the end-of-term exams for our students at the moment. We’ve already been doing speaking exams with them.

We’ve known about the exams for some time, of course, and informed the school some time ago. Everything’s been scheduled and all the relevant people informed. All we need to do now is start the show.

Now how many of you thought it’d be that simple?

The students have one of the big exams this afternoon, but that’s had to be moved to a different time because of some school exam which seems to have popped out of nowhere. It could well’ve. The notion of scheduling things a decent length of time in advance is unheard of here. Fortunately, the exam is now earlier, although it follows straight on from this afternoon’s speaking exams.

The students from Class X (a sort of awkward rump of kids from various classes who are in our programme) were meant to have done their listening test yesterday afternoon. Since this can be done in class time, there was no need for special arrangements to be made.

Did it happen?

Bollocks it did. Most of them had some other test at the same time, so it’s now going to happen on Friday.

I told you we were important.


Alas, poor… Oh, is that Mozart?

Story in The Guardian about DNA tests being done on a skull in Austria to determine whether it’s Wolfgang Amadeus M. But if it is, what happens to it next?

Researcher #1: So it really is Mozart’s skull.
Researcher #2: Yeah. [Slight pause.] Mozart’s skull.
Researcher #1: I suppose we should do something with it.
Researcher #2: I guess. Like what?
Researcher #1: Well, you’re always complaining about the papers on your desk being blown around. Why not use it as a paper weight?
Researcher #2 [shocked]: The skull of one of the greatest composers in the world as a paper weight?! [Slight pause.] Yeah, why not?
Researcher #1: Not like he needs it back.
Researcher #2: I know. Couple of small speakers in the eye sockets wired to an MP3 player – the Mozart stereo skull. Think of the money we could make from merchandising.
Researcher #1: Seriously?
Researcher #2: How else are we going to cover the cost of all those DNA tests?

Proof positive that Mozart’s the composer who just keeps on giving.

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One thought on “Testing… testing…”

  1. Don’t you be so irreverent, you twisted boy, you. I’ll tell Fred on you and he’ll beat you with a cricket score.

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